too bad, so sad

Today we filled a skip from the shed and burnt some stuff. So tired. So sore.

Well, we didn't get the house. I really thought we would and at the open before the auction, I stood at the black marble kitchen bench and looked out over the dining area to the small backyard and thought, yes I really like this. Even if the backyard is really small and the ensuite bathroom has no towel rail and the door opens into the shower. I could live with all those things I thought. Anyway five minutes into the auction it had sailed right past my limit without me even putting in a bid. The sun came out and the park across the road had light shining through the trees, it was beautiful. And the bidding went on and on and on. In the end it went for $149,000 more than a similar, as in same design but slightly less prettified house, several doors down four weeks ago. A house that had been squarely in my price range. I had really come to see the location as a real plus and it irks me to think that that location might now be out of my price range. We shall see.

After the deflation of the auction we went for lunch at a local cafe that would have been our local, had we got the house. It was great. How bittersweet. Later at home, I felt the crush of defeat as I cuddled the dog, took a selfie, sent some texts. As you do. It really is a crush after falling in love with a house, decorating it and mentally living there. I don't know if I can keep doing it or whether I would be better to fix this place up. At least that would be in my control. To manage my disappointment, I set about learning a new WordPress theme and that was fun. Grace made nutella brownies and bought one into me on a plate. We also had one for dessert with ice cream. Eating your feelings, one could say. However I did remember to count my blessings, even though I would like to move, this house of mine is warm and dry and I am lucky to have it. So yeah, too bad, so sad.

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