spinach pie

Tony in the last sun for the day. Working out the new schedule.

I made a killer spinach pie for dinner tonight. Only it wasn't spinach, it was silver beet from the garden. I took care to pick the best leaves and even washed off all the bugs and snails. And I included sautéed mushrooms and onion, to which I added the very finely chopped silver beet, and cooked it until all the water came off and it was much reduced in size. The chopping makes all the difference when you use silver beet otherwise the texture is inclined to be stringy. I started picking the greens and making the pie after Gerard's 5 o'clock medication and was able to have a rest and a vodka beverage along the way.

The rituals of family living; dinner at the table, family tv time, afternoon tea, walking to school when we can, lunch together, going to the supermarket, these are the things holding me, holding us together at the moment. After the last seizure (which I didn't write about here because, well too busy to write) Gerard has had trouble with his speech. I think it is called aphasia, he can think the thoughts but the words that come out don't always relate. Although I do think the relationship between words and thoughts is getting closer or maybe we are understanding him better. The doctor has said that Gerard's main tumour has changed and so he is having a break from radiotherapy pending an MRI. She said it was "concerning" but that they don't have enough information without the MRI to make sure the radiotherapy is targeted correctly. Everything felt very sharp yesterday and I cried every time I was on my own. I see people living every day normal lives with every day normal problems and I feel like tapping them on the shoulder and saying, this is the good bit, love each other, appreciate what you have. But I don't, of course. And I do think that people close to us know this and feel a bit of the fear, a bit of the vulnerability. Because this sort of stuff does happen to ordinary families like us. Hopefully not very often, but it does happen. And I do know of other families that have had big things happen. Maybe one day I am going to look back and this, these days now, they will be the good bit.

Ack, I'm tired. So tired. Even though I got a full night's sleep last night. More or less. I thought I would write about other things but maybe it's not in me right now. And I need some sort of record. I do. I really do.


Sue said...

I hope that the MRI has good news for your husband. You must be so tired out. I can sort of relate as I have been driving to the hospital to visit my dad as he is having heart problems, and other little things pop up along the way. It makes you realise that the little things you whinge about arent really that bad. I think health scares make most people reevaluate at some time. It sounds like your doing well with all the caring for him too which is fantastic. I hope the good bits return really soon.

thornberry said...

Hi Janet. I don't think that I have commented since you told us that Gerard had cancer, and I'm sorry for that oversight. You're going through a really awful time. I don't think that I can even imagine how crappy it must all be for you and your family. Brain tumours and their treatment are horrid, and I just wanted to let you know that I do think of you and yours. And yes, I do try to appreciate all the good stuff in my life, every day, because I know that you never know, and stuff happens. Take care of yourself as much as you are able. And I think that your beautifully written, evocative record of this time does help - both you and others. Thanks for being so open and honest.

thornberry said...

Just re-read my comment - oversight was not the right word to use, it was rude and insensitive of me not to comment earlier. I am sorry.

Stomper Girl said...

Hope you got all your admin done! It was good to see you yesterday. X