I think I might blog today

It's been a while. Four months in fact. Do I try and catch up? Or maybe just blurt out the highlights/lowlights? There aren't any proper photos either, my photo taking mojo seems to have gone the same way as my blogging/writing mojo. So much so that I couldn't make the annual Christmas calendar this year. But perhaps that was just well because really the best thing I can say about Christmas is that it will get better from here on. Suffice to say we will not be having my mum and dad and their spouses at joint Christmases any more. It was a change I thought we could make from next year but I spoke too soon and suddenly it all shifted without any way back. My Christmas day went from turning up with a pavlova and some cherries to shopping and cooking for two events. A couple of people were quite upset and Grace actually told me that I "broke Christmas". Despite all the kerfuffle though, it was better. But perhaps it would have been even more better if the change had not been made the week before Christmas and people could have a) had some time to get used to the new plan and b) not felt they had no say in it. Anyway, it was actually quite a lot better and I overcompensated with presents for Grace. Even if Gerard had to wrap them for me because I was making White Christmas.
Xmas time is here again. This years's recurrent family Christmas shit cycle took place against another really crappy bout of depression. It's been rolling up and down ever since September when I got that horrible flu. Sometimes I think I just need something to start me off, add some life circumstances, stir in some defective brain chemistry and voila, perfect storm. This period of depression, which my psychiatrist won't give me antidepressants for because she thinks it is to do with my life rather than any bi-polar brain chemistry, has made doing anything really difficult. Mornings are a bugger. I don't want to socialise. Or eat. Or exercise. Or take photos. Or anything really. Which makes it worse. So I have been trying to do things. But yeah, bummer.

I did manage to scrape myself off the floor to book and attend a Christmas craft market, four weeks in a row. With a another little market tucked in the middle. Didn't make enough money to flee the country but I covered some bills and my Christmas shopping. And I enjoyed finding out what people like to buy, and touch. The sewing was crazy but fun and think I will keep doing it on and off through the year. My head is full of new plans for toys and products and although I can see that what I am doing at the moment doesn't pay a great hourly rate, it does keep me out of trouble and I think you have to be doing stuff to discover what the next step is. Also made a WordPress website for a friend's business and I think she got a pretty good, responsive website that suits her needs at a reasonable price. Once again, I learnt a lot. There's still some more behind the scenes work to do there but as Gerard says, it's a cheap and practical way to learn a lot. Hopefully this year, I'll get around to making some business websites for myself and find a couple more that I can do for other people.Oh, and I have some more of the boring but well paid by the hour work coming up. And Gerard seems to be getting a fair bit of work about the place too. So I'm not at all worried that we will starve. Or have to subsist on just lentils and rice. Actually I think this year might even be reasonably good for us on the work front.
Gerard has been busy too. Mum has finished her cancer treatment and it has been astoundingly successful. There is no sign of any cancer remaining and apparently only a small percentage of people have a result this good. I am very happy about that, but there is no saying how long the remission might be, two years, ten years, twenty years - there is just no knowing. I do wish however that she would actually give up smoking. Seems like such a good idea, especially if you have had lung cancer. But oh well, what can you do?

Grace will be going to a new school this year. It's good to have finally made a decision but there is of course some anxiety about it not working out. I'm looking forward to drop offs and pick ups where people don't avert their gaze or suddenly become engaged in their mobile phone when you walk past. We still have our little circle of friends at the old school but really, there are quite a few people who would rather not know us. A WorkSafe investigation that resulted in this article, has a lot to do with that. Still we are not the only family leaving. Anyway we are looking forward to a school with  few more girls, a school run library that they take seriously, a language program and no fricking iPads. Grace is not really looking forward to the last one but it bothered her less than we expected on her transition day.

I could probably go on but I need to cook dinner. Maybe I can find some more to write about soon. Hopefully if I keep writing it will become a bit more upbeat. I would like that. So how are you?


Stomper Girl said...

Good to hear what's been happening in your life Janet, such amazing news about your Mum. I didn't think you could get rid of lung cancer. I also wish she could give up smoking. Good luck with Grace's new school too. iPads for preps and Junior kids, pfft.

Tania said...

Go, bloggy lady! Things got a bit intense at our school towards the end of last year. I could have happily turned my back. Hoping everyone took a massive chill pill and got over themselves over the break. Agree with Stomp - and probably go even further! iPads at primary school? Double PFFT.

Stomper Girl said...

Tania, I agree, iPads at primary school is nonsense and a ridiculous expense to ask of parents.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about the depression. The thing I found this year is that once you get into that place where you don't want to do anything, it is VERY hard to get out again. I hope that starts to get easier soon.

Glad to hear the good news about your mum. Very frustrating about the smoking but what can you do.

Christmas is so fraught, isn't it? But if you came out with an improvement on par, then you're doing well, I think!

Full on about the schools, but feeling hopeful for you. Glad to see you back here again.

Janet said...

Yeah I agree about the iPads. One parent started measuring the time her child spent on the iPad at school and it was often over three hours a day. I find it hard to be OK about that. Especially seeing that there are no stated education goals and a lot of what they seems to be doing is like an electronic worksheet. Even some of the groovier stuff seems to be anti creative!

librarygirl said...

Lots going on in your life! Love your trees and glad you made the school jump xx

Suse said...

Sorry to hear about your health issue, but like the others i'm thrilled for you all re your mum. What a result!

Good luck with the new school stuff.


h+b said...

Hey Janet .. lots on your plate.

I think I pretty much ruin Xmas too, with my tenseness and escalating anxiety. i do it every year even though I try and try and try to be cool about ALL the extra activities and awards and parties and gifts and who is bringing what and where will it be and I cant cope. I missed the kid's karate awards this year as I was trapped in a street with no parking and a yelly man who refused to back up and I couldn't because there was another car behind me. The kids had a good time, but I sat on a park bench and cried and couldn't go in after that. I probably should blog about how bad I felt leading up to Xmas. Rather than using your comments as therapy. Sorry.

iPads. I remember reading about he excursion to the Apple Store. Odd. Very corporate.

I have no idea what is in store for us this year, but from what I have seen this year, Grade 3 is a deciding year.. parents leaving, issues come to a head etc.

Here's to new beginnings! x