what can I say?

There is a big thing going on in my life. It's not about me so although it affects me deeply, I can't really write about it. That will probably change at some point but even then, maybe not that much. It is so sad and difficult but there are tiny little bright spots. And I'm kind of busy and kind of not. I don't want to go to bed at night and when I do, I lie on my back with my thoughts racing so I shift position and they still race. Eventually I sleep and then I want to sleep in because bed in the morning is so warm and non confronting. Staring out the window is pretty appealing too. Everyday life seems to be taking a bit of a back seat. But I am making an effort, gym, work, hanging out with people, posting cat pictures on facebook, having dinner. Going to see newborn babies. That sort of thing.
Sitting in the car. As you do. Not crying but today has been shitty and sad. Again. And then there was this thing going on between parents at my daughter's school. I most probably shouldn't write about that either but we are so on the nose because we are on the wrong side of this so bugger it. It has been so ugly and nasty that I wish I hadn't weighed in but for various reasons, I did. Not badly I don't think but it sparked another wave of nasty emails. And then at a kid's birthday party one of the parents tried to talk to me about it, about why my friend was so wrong when I didn't think they were, and this parent kept going on and on even after I asked her to stop. I told her that we were thinking of other schools, which we have been for a multitude of reasons even before this nasty little episode, and she said in quite a patronising way that maybe that was a decision we had to make. It's a hard decision for lots of reasons but we shall see. We went to see another school yesterday and it gave us lots to think about. It's something I could do without at this point but even with the first thing going on, I think we need to make some decisions.

this is (one of) their worlds

The other day, I noticed that Grace was talking into my phone. It sounded like she was commenting on something. Her comments were clear and polite, and really positive. Just as I would expect. But still! After some investigation it turned out that she was commenting on the pet shops of other players in a game she plays on my phone. The kids comment on the class blog at school, so I guess this is a natural progression. Even so, this is not school, and I worried. I worried about what might happen if she got a nasty comment or if she came across someone with evil intention. And when I tried to talk to her about it, she just clammed up. What to do? Well, there was to be no computer or phone until we had a talk.
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A week seemed like a long time but eventually we did have a chat about it. We talked about being nice and how I would always trust her to do the right thing but that other people might not. We talked about cyber safety and not giving out your personal details and about telling mum or dad if anything seems a bit funny. And there's a new rule. Grace is allowed to try new things like this - if they're OK for kids, if she's not under age (so no facebook until 13) and if they are appropriate. But she has to talk to us first so we can check them out and help her set them up properly if necessary. Deep breath. I hope we're doing the right thing. It feels right but still. More deep breaths.
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So last night I set Grace up an email address. On gmail, so really she now has the whole google world at her fingertips. Like google+ and google chat. Another deep breath. We went back over the rule about asking first before trying a new thing. So yeah, I think we might spend some time learning about email safety and how to use it well. As well has finding some friends and family members for her to practice emailing with. I wonder how long before she gets an email telling her she has won some lottery?