just like that

When I got off the phone to work yesterday, I felt light, elated. Good. Finally done it. Quit work. Just like that. No, I guess not just like that. It has been rather a long time coming. About a year really. I kept putting off the decision because it was only three days a week, close to home and paid well enough. But I could feel the stress of it getting to me again and that slip sliding into unwellness. So boring. So inconvenient. It might be a bit inevitable with all the peri menopausal hormones ranging around but I don't think it needs to be this bad. So I went to my doctor for a certificate and then I called work. It is all done bar the paperwork and a morning tea to say goodbye to my colleagues. Yes, just like that.
 All kinds of dodgu
So what made me finally do it? Well I guess Thursday was even more challenging than usual and close to the end of my day I was dealing with yet another customer who was somewhat more difficult than usual and I said something I really shouldn't have. I removed myself from the situation immediately and told a team leader and then locked myself in the ladies and sobbed. Great big sobs. A colleague and a social worker came to rescue me and no one blamed me or gave me a hard time but really, at that moment something broke and I knew I just couldn't do it any more. I guess I'm not the first person to decide to quit a job while crying in the toilets. The next day I found out that the loan we were seeking for the extension was unlikely to be approved. No matter, we had already worked out a feasible and much cheaper back up plan. One we can do with what we have, and as a bonus, less debt.
View from the lunchroom. With coke zero.
I still feel sick. A combination of not sleeping, anxiety and just a touch of the lovely gastro that's going around here. So I've given myself permission to rest up for a week or two. To lie on the couch and read books or watch movies, to just let things float by. Then I guess I'd better figure out what to do next. I'm so glad I've finally done it. Once I shut this door, I'm sure others will open.


  1. not easy, but right.

    Self-preservation is ALWAYS the right choice.


  2. Congratulations!

    Let the work-toxins work themselves out of your system for a couple weeks. You've definitely earnt some lying around!

  3. Your well being is much more important than that job. Congratulations on getting rid of a lot of stress out of your life. I am sure the next pathway will be exciting and full of wonderful things for you and your family.

  4. I'm glad Janet - that workplace was no longer a good fit for you.
    Onward and upward x

  5. Many more doors will open, and in the meantime - rest well!

    E x

  6. I'm so happy for you. Leaving the toxicity behind ... you won't know yourself! Just be kind to yourself the first few days - I found it hard when I resigned both times from poisonous environments. There's a certain amount of Stockholm syndrome when it comes to leaving bad jobs.

    Onwards and forwards and upwards! Wishing you all the best! xxx

  7. Every exit is and entrance somewhere else (Tom Stoppard). Go you!

  8. Big changes like that take so much courage. Well done, brave lady. You weren't happy where you were so I really think you've done the right thing. Bravo.