I'm making some progress moving through all the stuff on my to-do list. Some of it good, some of it painful (either in the boring I don't want to do this sense or in the I wish things were different sense). Working through the holiday photos was actually pretty easy and fun once I got started. Although there were some I wish things were different and I could see Betty and the girls more often and without shelling out for interstate travel thoughts. It could be worse, they could have moved overseas but still I'm working hard to maintain some degree of rose tinting in my glasses.
That's the girls with the bronzed Steve Irwin family at Australia Zoo. They would have liked to see Bindi but we just missed that one. Australia Zoo was great,quite expensive but great. And every time some one needed to go to the toilet, one just had to turn around and there one be one nearby. Quite a useful feature when out with children. The animals were also extreme nice looking and their cages had that raked gravel look. We asked a keeper who was playing with some cuddly looking Tasmanian devils and she said that they don't let them fight and they are groomed everyday. I don't know whether that is a good thing from the animal point of view but it all felt very well run.
There were lots of animals and the like to have photos taken on and they loved this one of the crocodile. We went to one of the shows with the crocodiles and birds and it was very entertaining. Especially the way the birds of prey swooped in to the arena. The crocodiles were pretty scary too.
The girls played pretty well and once again they seemed very sure of their cousinly relationship. Maeve had her first go with my camera and took a surprisingly OK photo of me. I miss them already and have been making plans to visit again in the not too distant future. Perhaps in conjunction with a holiday that has a pool and a mini bar. We'll see closer to the time because we are also thinking the winter desert and hot springs with a side trip.
Work last week was pretty bad and I lasted two days which I actually think was quite good going, all things considered. I suppose I did make it worse by saying what I think on one occasion but bugger it, what are they going to do, sack me? Thursday I didn't go to work as I didn't really sleep and all on Wednesday and I was a mess. Not to mention tired. But too racy to sleep during the day. Oh well, I have a doctor's appointment on Friday and various other things on the go. Next week should be fun. But I think it will get better after that.
I've been a bit unwell. Again. A few weeks (months?) of dodgy sleep a week at work where I had an awful couple of days due to being so very, very tired, followed by a weekend where I missed a few nights sleep and then Tuesday morning when the alarm went, and there I was already wide awake with countless thoughts racing through my head. Again. For the third out of five nights. (The other two nights I had gone to sleep with a fair amount of vodka - lithivod mmmm- which my doctor agrees is not a prudent long term strategy) Decided not to go to work and I think my shrink thought I was putting it on, but she suggested I go back on the anti psychotics nonetheless. Went back to work on the Thursday and lasted less than ten minutes before I was standing in front of a team leader trying really hard not cry, not succeeding, and waving my arms around. Ushered into the room with tissues and sent home. Actually, work have been reasonably decent but my doctor, well - I'm having some doubts. And it's very hard when you're feeling fragmented and vulnerable to make sensible decisions about anything, particularly when the very thing you use to make decisions - your brain - is not working as well as it might. And if you start taking zyprexa again, particularly at a significant dose, well you will feel a bit better when the racing thoughts stop and you get some sleep but you may also feel like you've been kicked in the head every day for a while. And for me other symptoms like anxiety take a little while to calm down. Hence the somewhat unpleasant kicked in the head creek walk where I saw a snake in every rustle, even though my rational self knows it is too cold for snakes.
Grace and lolled around this afternoon and watched the first Harry Potter DVD again. I liked it well enough the first time around but on the second viewing I got so much more. And how did I not pick up the unicorn scene last time? And why does the reference to unicorn blood seem so apt?
Anyway, the drugs are working properly now, I've had a good stretch of sleep and although I have a cold, I feel pretty good. However because this is the third episode in just over 6 months, I've made some decisions. First, I am going to start looking for a new doctor. Second, I'm going to find out whether there are any other health issues affecting me - hello peri-menopause? And three, well three is really big and complicated - I'm looking into doing something about my work. This time work wasn't the cause or trigger for the episode but it certainly doesn't help me feel any better in general. Need to sit with that a bit and see how I feel in a few weeks but yes, thinking about work big time. TMI? Yes? Unicorn time? I thought so.
|"Death of the Unicorn" by Amy C. Reed|
"...it is a monstrous thing, to slay a unicorn. Only one who has nothing to lose, and everything to gain, would commit such a crime. The blood of a unicorn will keep you alive, even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price. You have slain something pure and defenceless to save yourself, and you will have but a half-life, a cursed life, from the moment the blood touches your lips."—Firenze explains to Harry Potter why the slaying of a unicorn is a crime.[src]We have decided that it is time to move onto the next Harry Potter DVD and to start reading the books. Although I am re reading Little House on the Prairie (wasn't able to find Little House in Big Woods at the library) at the moment and I am enjoying it every bit as much as I did when I was a child, maybe even more. So maybe I need to decide which series to go with for the moment. Or not. Maybe we can live in both worlds at once.