So. Last Friday was shrink day and we ended up discussing the Kodak development, High School for Coburg and how to access housing support for a homeless person. Towards the end of our session, my doctor turned to me and said now lets talk about you. Which we did. She disapproves of me drinking beyond a glass or too. We've only touched on my tattered history with drugs ever so briefly. She totally didn't buy the self medicating with pot angle. She is really not that great to talk about the drugs with. Which is a pity in a way, because the new drugs are great. And I have had the odd drink without falling in a heap, which is also great.
So yeah, lithium is working well for me this time around. It feels much more subtle than epilum which made me feel dumb and blunt and just a tad low The epilum was better than the extremes of crazy, but only just. I slept well and didn't get tension headaches. Lithium is much more of an up drug. Everything seems prettier, lighter and in general I don't feel at all anxious. Or have racing thoughts. Instead I feel normal, like myself. I have lots of ideas buzzing around which did make me wonder at first - I thought maybe I was heading for a mania but no, it is a normal good feeling. It's been so long that it felt strange to feel happy and busy. So now I'm having all sorts of ideas - to do with school council, what clothes I want to make at craft camp, knitting, planning the garden. I feel like doing things too (except for cooking - which is to be avoided at all costs). The atmosphere with G and Grace is also lighter somehow, there's been more of a playful vibe about the house. Despite some heavy (and pretty much unbloggable) shit going down. I still sleep well although I do appear to be prone to stinky headaches if I get too tired. Interestingly lithium is naturally occurring and people used to take the lithium waters at spas. Apparently it was also put in soft drinks - most notably 7-up.
There are some side effects, I get crazy thirsty. Not as much as in the beginning but still, nothing foodwise is as appealing as a cold soft drink. I've also a had a faint hand tremor at times but nothing I can't live with.Wish I could take this drug forever but my doctor says it's bad for your kidneys. So we'll see how we go. But yeah life is good. Ooh and I'm heading off to craft camp tomorrow. Life really is good.