a unicorn for today

The weather is warm and windy, with small droplets of rain. I'm on day two of the increased dose of the new drugs. Morning nausea makes me think I might hurl during school assembly, but I don't. Have been hiding away a bit, but have also told a few people that I am on sick leave. Someone joked about me looking (not) peaky and I told them why I was on sick leave. Perhaps I shouldn't have. Being open about the crazy is all very well in theory, but it seems to make people a bit uncomfortable. And I'm just a bit paranoid about that at the moment. It doesn't help that I'm not quite at the stage of making jokes about it, or that I don't feel totally confident of social boundaries yet. Thing is, I want people to make allowances for me, to not totally rely on me, to be understanding if I fuck up or avoid certain things. Just for a while.  Lucky I have this blog, because I can go on all I like here. You guys know that eventually I will write about something else and besides if it's boring you can just skim or look at the pictures. I have appreciated your comments though. Lovely.

Also on the subject of lovely, isn't this unicorn lovely? I found her here this morning.
Yesterday afternoon while Grace had her swimming lesson, I swam ten laps of the big pool. The blue water and the trees in the afternoon sunshine were soothingly beautiful. As I swum I could feel my body stretch out and respond to each breath. Afterwards I had just enough time to float for a while, kind of a swimming pool savasana. I swam the last lap in a slow deliberate breaststroke, concentrating on correct technique and looking at the lovely patterns in the pool.

Today's plan is to write a plan for the rest of the week and to prepare sewing for craft weekend. Some new tops, some pants and a cardigan. I'm tempted to make the tops all from the same pattern. Not sure whether I can be bothered learning a new one. Obviously I also need to plan a realistic number of projects to attempt. I also need to pack a box of woollen fabrics for Betty which I will send by post when the machine comes, as I'm sure that will mean a drive to the post office. I need to also prepare some craft stall sewing for the school fete. I'm not sure these toys are going to be that profitable but I guess you have to start somewhere. Oh and course, there's some washing. Including the cardigan vest I made which I need to be able to wear to craft camp, even if it is 28 degrees. Better get cracking then.


Stomper Girl said...

I think that is a fair enough reason to be open with people. Sometimes we need to be cut some slack.

I am about to start organising some craft camp bits. And have found the apple pie recipe!

Suse said...

I love that you have a category marked 'unicorns'.

I think it's important to tell people so they can be gentle with you. But yes, I get that the reality of it would be confronting.

The only craft camp prep I've done is set aside three different jars of chutney for Sue's curry dinner. Best sort some projects I think.

Sue said...

I think you should tell people if they ask, there is no reason why it should be hard for people to accept although I know that there are people who dont understand it at all which is frustrating for you. Your not the only person who has felt like that, and I find it strange that once I tell people they tell me about others going through the same thing. I hope you have a great craft weekend and take it easy amongst friends.

Acton Belle said...

Mmmm, what Sue said. I've experienced the awkwardness of someone not knowing quite how to handle me once I've 'fessed up to mental illness but its also amazing the number of people who come out the wood work (or out a friend or relative) once you've 'fessed up and are just plain relieved that some else understands.
Enjoy craft camp x

Di said...

Oh the swim sounds like bliss! Wish I had an opportunity to swim at the moment.
I hope that you have a wonderful, restorative weekend away.

Anonymous said...

I truly hope your weekend away has been productive, relaxing, fun, restorative and inspiring! You deserve it!

Eleanor said...

I miss you.

Even my green nailpolish doesn't feel quite as fun without you.

E x