Today I was wide awake and the sun was shining so brightly that it was warm enough for t-shirts and sandals. But yesterday felt only half light, half awake, an albedo state. All morning, yearning to fall back into sleep. The full state of dreamy introversion and slow changeability. Rain and gentle grey clouds. For the first part of the day I propelled myself onto the bus and into the office of my psychiatrist; an intense session followed, in which we talked of many things. Afterwards, a few items to pick up in town and home again. Walked en famille to enrol Grace in school for next year and got caught in the rain. School felt big. Then G went out to do some messages and Grace and I stayed home to have a rest. Grace made a bed on the lounge room floor with the stripey sleeping bag and a pillow and I snuck between the two doonas, allowing my body to sink into relaxation and slowly drift away. Until Grace came and told me that she'd had enough rest. I meant to get up and I could hear her playing games in her room but somehow I couldn't quite rouse myself. Normally I'd feel bad about that, but it was the sort of afternoon where it was OK. I drifted, half dozing, half listening out for her. Grace came to check on me and tell me this and that and didn't seem at all bothered. Later she came and told me that she was tired again and that she was going to have another rest. I assumed she'd go on the couch or on her bed even, but no, she snuggled onto her sheepskin mat with her blankie.
At some point G came home and found us all asleep and went out again, to pick up the vegie box and the tofu, to gossip and be in the wide awake world. When I came to properly, I looked out the bedroom window at the rain and felt as though I had been roused from some long enchantment. Then as I walked around the house, it seemed as though we'd all been under the same spell. Even Tony was asleep. Grace had made herself a snack at some point, getting bread and leftover rice pudding from the fridge (mmm cold jasmine rice pudding). There was a bit of mess, but not much really. I walked around and woke them both up, just in time for daddy to arrive home with the vegie box and for me to make dinner. Which was my new recipe for very edible tofu burgers with greens, mushrooms and eggplant. They were very nice. If I do say so myself.