Nothing but blue skies

Today was warm enough for sandals and sunshiney, and I spent the afternoon at CERES with Grace, Mum and a friend from mother's group and her daughter. My friend had called on the off chance and as Mum and I had no firm plans, it seemed like the perfect outing for the afternoon. CERES is one of my favourite places in Melbourne; an environmental park with community gardens, orchards, sustainable living displays, a nursery, gardens and a cafe with suprisingly good food (especially the cake) and coffee. Very child friendly without being dull for gardener type adults. And I spotted these pink broadbeans which had me all excited and hopping for the camera. Hopefully I'll be able to get some seeds and grow some next year...
The last few days have been intense, as any who read my last post might imagine. I have been having a conversation with myself (and with mum, Gerard and the rest of my family) for quite a while about whether I should write the truth about our son Frank. I'm glad I did. Although telling such a story is painful, probably both for writer and reader, it has also been enormously theraputic for me. Translating all those thoughts and emotions into a narrative has taken away much of the fear I felt and most of the blackness too. At least for a while. I still feel sad, of course, but stronger and clearer. Like my head has been given thorough cleansing. I worried that the post was way too long but sometimes you just have to keep adding words until you feel the story has been told.

At some point I may post Frank's story at A heart breaking choice which I found a week or two ago when my not very adept and somewhat sporadic google searching led me to uncommonmisconception. Finding Julia's site and reading through her "best reads" and some of her archives finally convinced me that I could write our story also. Although I am never pleased to find and read such sad and difficult stories, reading of other women and their families does make me feel less alone. Previously, all my googling had found were disturbing pro-life sort of sites. Not at all comforting.

Thank you for your kind comments, they are very much appreciated. I'm going to leave you with a corner of our spring garden. This garden is my place of peace and over the next few weeks, I'm going to try and spend a whole lot of time here amidst the greenery; planting, weeding and puttering. And maybe even a little lying around with a book or playing world cup soccer with Grace.

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